Fitness Instructor T-Shirts

'We put them on the stair master until their paperwork goes through'

'Five more, Billy! No pain, no gain!!'

Fitness Clinic.

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

'Ok, now everyone jump up and touch the ceiling 100 times with the palms of your hands...'

Thinning the herd.

Woman and sport trainer

"Before you run a marathon maybe you should start with 50 yards?" Set acheivable targets.

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

Rowing machine on a river.

Doggy aerobics class - 'All right...we'll start with some tail-chasing...'

'Do you know if there's a candy machine in the building?'

Advanced pilates.

Patron entering 'School of Yoga' sees snowman standing on head.

'It's so much more enjoyable since we got an electric one.'

"Hop up into the jolly jumper and let's see what you're made of"

"Remember when these were all yoga centers?"

'I enjoy sweating the small stuff. It adds to my fitness workout.'

'I can help you develop your triceps, possibly beef up your chest. But to be brutally honest, you need to be erased and completely redrawn.'

'Very good, Now ten more reps...and a one, and a two and ...'

'Who ordered the pizza?'

"Stop! You're killing me!"

'It's a revolutionary technique for reducing vehicle emissions. We call it walking.'

"Now on the count of three, each of you will turn, aim, and fire, all the while keeping your core engaged.

'That's an ancestor of mine with her cool aerobics machine that also churned butter!'

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

A man walks on a treadmill on hot coals.

'Ben, that's what I hate about this crowded gym... there's no freedom of the bench press.'

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

'He's tagging exercicse equipment to study its migratory patterns as it travels from lawn sale to lawn sale.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

The Phitness Quartet