Fitness Hacker Mugs

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

"Speed reader...?"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

Secrets of Adulthood.

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

Addiction Research Centre.

"Dad, you never have to say 'take out the trash' again!"

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

'When I run in place for 30 seconds, my pacemaker opens the garage door.'

The Ten Resolutions

"I'm starting my diet today."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Life bingo