Fitness Fault-finder Pillows

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Dog Walking Services

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Well, well, well...'

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Be Healthy

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Turn, turn and turn.

On the back of the t-shirt...

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."