Fitness Fault-finder Pillows

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Dog Walking Services

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Well, well, well...'

Yoga for Alcoholics

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

"This feels like an accomplishment."

Turn, turn and turn.

Be Healthy

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."