Fitness Enthusiast With A Love For Irony Pillows

"Coming to the beach is a great way to stay in shape."

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Keep Fit.

Old Karate Master

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Fast Food Dieter

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Check out my six pack.

"Year, I get a real workout with this exercise equipment. . . I'm constantly moving it out of my way!"

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"Reinvesting all profits from this gym into a string of donut shops is job security."

'Like it'll do any good.'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

attorney at law

"I exercise almost everyday. Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday..."

Now on exhibit at the Museum of Discarded Exercise Equipment

'Congratulations. You're the world's first exercycle potato.'

"Same weight as you were in high school, great....now put the other foot on the scale too!"

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

"No matter how much I workout, my arms still look sticks."

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

'Now they're saying exercise doesn't cure depression.'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

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