Fit Fanatic Pillows

Impersonal Trainer.

"Mental note to self: rethink theory of survival of the fittest."

An apple? Carrot pieces? Fruit salad? What a coincidence. Suddenly all our moms pack us fruits and vegetables. I know! There was a special about teen obesity on tv last night. I thought it was on anorexia. Tv has serious eating disorders.

"Alright cowards, now put your peloton on a stairmaster and get into a lap pool!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

In the Guru District

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Muscles

Turn, turn and turn.

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Yearbook

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Monica Seles

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"We're exclusively delts."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"