Fishing Gifts

Gone Bookkeepin'

"Worms? Look, pal, if you want to catch a shark, you need to use the right lure."

Aliens fish for a man who is fishing.

Sockeye Salmon.

'Your fly snapped off three hours ago, young man, but you were casting so beautifully I didn't want to disturb you.'

"Sorry Ma'am, but forensics seem to indicate your husband has 'Gone Fishing'..."

Out of tuna

'Dad, good luck fly fishing.'

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

"I live near Montauk point but I like to get into the city as often as possible."

"Relax, it's cat fishing lure. I'm hoping to catch a dogfish."

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

Damn defibrillators.

'I didn't actually catch anything, but I do feel I gained some valuable experience.'

"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."

"Pardon? Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to someone else..."

I'm having trouble breathing.

'I finally remembered--red with hunter, white with fisherman.'

"Just ignore it. It's click-bait."

'Nothing is biting, let's take a lunch break on that island.'

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

Population explosion: 20th century and 21st century.

'Be careful! It could be a phishing mail!'

"Sure, it looks good. Too good. Trust me, there's always a catch."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

Worm job fair.

Palliative care for worms.

'It's done wonders for my self-esteem.'

'We're lucky. This stream could be next to a paper mill instead of a brewery.'

"Do the Welsh and the Scots get on?"

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Did you bring the tackle?'

"It's not good enough to just grab the fish ... the judges want to see you do it without splashing."

Angling.

'Yes I saw it, but we're here to hunt ducks! Try to stay focused, Bob!'