Fiscal Prophet Pillows

'The deficit will continue to grow... and Congress will appropriate billions to study the problem!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Love your feng shui!"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

The Speculators

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'It's your debt to society.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'No doubt the upturn will come soon because the sheet of paper ends here!'

A self-filling prophecy.