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Help for Greece

'Are you made of sugar?'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Invisible clothes

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Bigfoot tracks...

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

Shares Nosedive

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Oh, him? He's the guy who changes the interest rate when it's set by the fed."

The euro as a monster

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'When does a tax increase not sound like a tax increase?'

The Fox and the Crow.

'The way I see it, deficit spending keeps the taxpayers on their toes.'

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

Going to Greece in a Handbasket.

"No more stress!"

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

'Say, this is interesting.'

"I was a childless cat lady till someone ate my cat."

'Lady G., I think you should know ol' Warren B.'s holding period is forever.'

Twitter protection

With horror he realised he was playing the wrong tune...

George III Enjoying a Frugal Meal

Shimon Peres last embrace...

George Osborne's Budget Pain.

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

"The last person you should be listening to regarding school reopening....

Petrol Prices: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Cyprus - banks reopen.