First-time Pet Owner Pillows

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Pick me!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Cat box"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Cling-On Dog

'She's just great with the children.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Man's best friends."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

No littering...

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

'I think he's lonely.'