First-time Homebuyer Adventure T-Shirts

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

The Day Dreamer.

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'They're playing house.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

House hunting is cruel.

Starter Homes

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"Call off the siege. It's being converted into ninety-three units of coöperative housing."

Real estate.