First Time Flyer Gifts

"No wonder we could get tickets."

'Sir, your suitcase is quantitatively challenged.'

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

'Is this your first time flying with us, Sir?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Airport Security.

Walking Luggage.

'Are we there yet?'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Airplane Mode.

A private jet takes off