First-time Buying T-Shirts

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Don't worry about your daughter Sir: I'll find us a dump to live in...'

"This wonderful starter home comes fully furnished!"

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'Hey, this is nice! You should see my starter cave!'

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

'They're playing house.'

Starter Homes

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

House hunting is cruel.

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'How much?! You can't be serious: It's a hole in a tree!'

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"Call off the siege. It's being converted into ninety-three units of coöperative housing."

'If you don't want a lot of column upkeep, this probably isn't a good real estate market for you.'

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

New Eco Towns - 'The architects thought we said 'ego'.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

'How can our light bill be so big? We see in the dark.'