First Restaurant Visit Mugs

"What's not disgusting?"

Treat at the Colinderies.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'It's my favorite.'

I love Cannelloni

'How is the water prepared?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"