First Online Date Pillows

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"As a matter of fact... yes, this IS my first online date!"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

Internet dating

'That must be my computer date.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

Online Dating Can Be Risky!

Using a social media app to date

I don't need lobster and music and wine....

"Wow, you look exactly like your profile pic."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Romance

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"