First Loves Pillows

The first kiss.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"First date hairball... awkward."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Romance

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Asking out a palm reader.

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"She's just being Koi."

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Your place or mine?'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'