First Impressions Master Pillows

'I've prepared this powerpoint presentation about myself which takes precisely the allotted five minutes.'

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"I have to say candidate two made a very good impression."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

"I probably deserved a twenty year sentence, but did he have to do it in a Donald Duck voice?"

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"I'm afraid the Will Ferrell quotes and hilarious duck impressions just aren't covering your low productivity levels any more, Ted."

Marvo the Bird Impersonator

"You only get one chance to make a great exhaustion."

Phil blows his interview before even sitting down.

Man chooses head from cupboard.

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

"I'm sending in Mr. Baxter ahead of the others to be interviewed. He's made a very good first impression."

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

'But how do I know you're really a genetic engineer?'

"Can you start the interview without me? I'll be in as soon as I finish my resume."