First Family Car Pillows

Car sticker reads: "Child on board. Keep Your Distance - wish we could."

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

Mother CareBaby Gap

'Are we there yet?'

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

It was a good idea to let the kids bring their friends...

GPS, satellite dish, cell phone...nature awaits. All right, Pop. Nature awaits!

"It's not a bear, sweetie. It's the pizza."

"Is there a problem officer?"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

'Not till you're sixteen.'

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Okay, boys...time for bed!"

"Let's go! And you're still not getting a car."

Road Test

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

"We don't need a test drive. Just let us try out the cup holders."

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

'Mummy will be back soon with some dinner.'

'We've got to go back, Maurice; Barry forgot his teddy person.'

Car party.

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"For my birthday, my parents are giving me a driverless car that's always home by 10."

Going on Holiday with Kids

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

'Doug and I have agreed to stay together until the children and his hedge fund are grown.'