First Date Dramatics Fan Pillows

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Love is in the air...

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Love Bites: The Dating Game - "No, he loves me more!"

"He's a terrible drunk."

"What wine would you recommend to compliment stony silence?"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

"I like long walks on the beach and beautiful sunsets, too...but who are you?"

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Nailed him on the first date.

'Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

"His last words were, 'before I die, I must confess I've been unfaithful'. Then I shot him."

'Phil and I have kissed and made up.'

'You need to do more than rustle your plumage, sir, to woo me.'

"We can't go back to my place the cops are digging up the basement."

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

It's not you, Tom. It's your, ah, um...'

I brought a little ice breaker.'

'But enough about me, now let's talk about your money.'

Drawing the Short Straw.

Speed Dating/Speed Dumping

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"