First Date Anniversary Gifts

Do you play footsie on the first date? Yes, but I only use the first toe.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Romance

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"She's just being Koi."

Romance

"I heard they mate for life."

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Asking out a palm reader.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'