First Cruise Experience Gifts

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

'See you in two weeks!'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Lifesaver!

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Rent a Room With Hot Water

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

'Don't the Italians believe in remodeling, Dad?'

The Desert Island Package

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

Tom Cruise