First Child Experiences Pillows

'I'm not sticking around to find out.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"They look so young and helpless."

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

The modern generation!

Extra innings.

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

'That never gets old.'

'Try one - they're crunchy on the outside with a chewy centre.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Before you know it they've got legs and they're swimming all over the place."

'I did tell you there were speed bumps in this via.'

'Imagine that in gummi!'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Constructing your own prison!