First Book Launch Mugs

'Is this your first book launch?'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"Meet the author"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

Sumo Love.

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

"I've read all your books and seen all your plays, and I wear your 'Gimme' cap."

Book publishing.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

Mary Trump

"I wrote, self-published and remaindered it myself."

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Meet the Authors

'Meet the Ghost Writer.'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

'Your book has a wonderful, timely quality. We're putting it on our list for a 2009 release.'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

Meet the Oar-thor.

Hilary Mantel

Knowing your audience

Meet the Author: The ghost writer behind celebrity autobiographies.

"I can't believe my first published short story is about me."

Books. Meet the Bestselling Author of Handwriting Analysis Books. What you mean you won't be signing any copies?

Don't get so excited - it's from you. Self-publishers Clearinghouse. I may already be a winner!