First Aid Aficionados T-Shirts

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Body Building

First aid departments

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

First Aid Box

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"My God, now what?"

Paramedics.

Medical Supplies

Doctors in Love.

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Why dogs hate CPR.

"Will he be okay?"

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'Hang on, Donny - Heimlin...Heinlit..dang! How do you spell that thing'

Musical Accidents

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"I've got a pulse!"