Firewall Fanatic Pillows

'I think your firewall is turned up too high!'

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

"The firewall on this is fantastic!!"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'Where was the TSA?'

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

Tortured Plank

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."