Fireside Fortifier Mugs

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Harsh Mellows.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

"Why do you always wear pants?"

"Whenever I want my mom to play fort, I just turn on news about climate change."

Safe harbour

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

"I need backup on 'D' Wing — they've built another den!"

"You can't classify the damage as a Act of God; I'm an atheist!"

"That's not the real me."

"I thought that open-hearth furnace was a little too open."

'When I said you should improve security I meant put a latch on the door.'

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

A-1 security from crime....

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

"The crew are all on tea-break at the moment. Try and keep the fire going until we can get there."

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

"Get off the fridge Kitty. I'm blowing the doors open."

'I have no intention of depending on the government for my homeland security.'

Security.

"Don't you think you're taking this shelter-in-place thing a little too far?!"

'Hello, can you check, I may have left my blow torch on.'