Fireplug Aficionado T-Shirts

Penis Sniffing Fire Hydrant

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Gadget geek.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Relaxing in front of a fire.

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"If history has taught us anything, it's taught us that there have been a ridiculous number of books written about history."

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Nuclear energy.

"Well, that's right. It is a disco ball. The regular lamp is in the shop."

The man who discovered smoke

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Two Cats 'I just love curling up without a good book.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

Candles In Bed

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

Dragon fireplace

An snail shell with a chimney

Earplugs £2 a Pair

Please roll over and breathe the other way.

'Sunning ourselves works alright, but nothing beats a good fire to really warm you up...'

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

The best apartment at The Maypole

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

"Well here's your trouble right here...Your flints have gone."

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

"You want the genie...I'm the genius of the lamp."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

A pet dragon stokes the fire in a man's heater.