Fire Fighting Pillows

"It feels like we're always putting out fires!"

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

'Doc, I feel completely burned out.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Woman escapes with cats.

'Remember me?'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

The New Normal

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.