Finishing A Dissertation T-Shirts

"I buried my doctoral thesis in an unmarked grave. . . because, ultimately, you never know."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Scientists are sexy

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Trilby - Finis

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Book publishing.

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

High Five

Odd Mortarboards.

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

math faculty

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"We're still pretty far apart. I'm looking for a six-figure advance and they're refusing to read the manuscript."

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

"I totally meant to do that."

'He's a structural engineer.'

"Okay, I finished my novel. Now what?"

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

Night Owl

PhD

"Where am I going to find the perfect thesis topic that hasn't been on TikTok already?"

"I read your manuscript with interest."

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"