Finding Out Family Secrets Gifts

'There's something I never told you about your father, Billy. He was a lawyer.'

"...then click 'save settings', scroll down to 'done' and voila! You're on Facebook stalking Miriam's daughter's new husband."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'One of my forebears.'

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

Harold's suspicions are finally confirmed - 'Son, you're adopted!'

'...Yes, I do still have all of your Dad's love emails on floppy disc somewhere.'

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"Hell, as Jean-Paul Sartre once said, is other peoples' inheritance tracks."

"When I was 5 years old, I put all my money in a pickle jar. Of course, my money was soggy and the pickles tasted funny."

"Baldo, let everyone know that Tia Carmen is in the hospital!"

"Son, the reason you're not happy like me is because your real father was an oyster.'

"I think my grandmother might have married him and brought him home after the war, since then he's just been sat by the fire..."

"Goodbye Sweetheart. No matter where you go in this life, or what you do, always remember that you signed an N.D.A. with us."

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago, on take your child to work day, my father wouldn't let me go home again."

Son, I'm adopted

'Your DNA test results are now in.'

'Now you're older, we think it's time you knew that both your father and I and you are adopted.'

"Wow. I share DNA with Moby Dick!"

"...brisket ...recipe. Hide it."

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

"Yes, Henry, you were adopted."

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

Geneology Service: 'I'm afraid you fall into our 'better off not knowing' category....'

"Tio Henry has been going out with Juanita for some time, huh?"

'Mom, dad, it's time for me to know the truth. . . was I adapted?'

"I know her from somewhere. She's either my mother or my daughter."

Oldest sibling is last to know about Dad's new girlfriend.

B**tard, B**tard & B**tard - Genealogists

'No, this isn't my son the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'