Financially Savvy Pillows

Non-Profit-Organization

'How much money does it hold?'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

"You're annoyed aren't you that I made more at bingo last year than you did on the stock market."

A patient's stocks graph matches that of his heart monitor.

'I stopped worrying about how much I needed to retire on when I realized there was no way I can ever retire.'

Staying together for the pension.

Doctor uses his stethoscope on the patient's wallet.

'What dividend-paying stocks do you recommend to tide me over between student loans and social security?'

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

Man gets mugged after leaving a loans company.

'If you're among the 40 million Americans who've been denied credit, surely you don't expect us to give you any!'

If you don't mind, can we stop off at an ATM?

Delinquent Home Owners

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'To help kick start the economy, I would like you to add an extension to my overdraft.'

"No, thanks. The only folding paper I'm interested in, is in his wallet."

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"It doesn't matter what he looks like, I'm just looking for a hedge against inflation..."

Middle Age: When a man turns out the light sfor economic reasons rather than for romantic ones!

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

'There may never come a prince to marry me... so what, a credit officer would be great as well!'

'Your paycheck has been direct deposited to your creditors.'

'The price of gas went up while you were filling up.'

"I don't know if I want to marry, but I would like a combined household income."

'Hey, wait a minute...'

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

'Good news. Our mortgage application for a tank of gas has been approved.'

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

Man asking for payment of debts

"Your DNA doesn't match your credit history."