Financially Challenged Humorist Pillows

'The guy who hacked our banks' computer has transfered 10,- to us when he saw our balance...'

Yeah, Fred's a real credit to the human race. He owes everyone.

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Budget Opticians.

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

'Can you dance?'

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"My research on the effects of total inactivity in humans is nearing a breakthrough. Just one more 5-year grant should do it."

Dollar sign balloon.

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

"Business is terrible. I've already had to refill with red ink two times this month."

Bankruptcy court

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

Computer that runs on money.

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

He sometimes wondered if his new trophy wife was just after his money. (Towels read 'kin' and 'next of kin').

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'