Financial Strategist Fanatic Pillows

'I've got a great system. I just pick the same stocks Ed does.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Jack of all trades

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"#Win!"

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"I just..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."