Financial Strain Gifts

'You must think I'm made of money! We can't afford both a cruise and a divorce in the same year!'

'I've had severe pains in the wallet-bearing area of my chest.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'We'd like to default on the bill.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

Sales

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

We Are All in This Together. But Some of Us Are More in It Than Others.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

How America Was Re-Won

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'