Financial Stability Seeker Pillows

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'I begged, I pleased with him. I told him he'd be wasting his life. Why would he want to open himself up to public vilification? A life of virtual poverty, of shattered dreams!'

'Strategic plan B: we chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

A Balanced budget.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Will work for ETFs

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

Investing your savings

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

'Recession is when the Jones have a tough time keeping up with themselves.'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

Sounds of the market hitting all time highs. . .

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

Sale - All Junk Bonds 50% Off.

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Your assets are perfectly safe with us, it's ring fenced - and of course we reconcile regularly sir.'

Looks like another hostile takeover...