Financial Soothsayer Pillows

The Circle.

"I told you so!"

European Stock Analyst

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"This is a penny stock. This is a prime stock and this is a laughing stock."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Ukraine War Clouds

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

'Today, stocks dropped on poll numbers that 60% of people expected it to drop.'

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

"For my dad's birthday, I'm giving him free advice on which tech stocks to buy."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist pump."

'Remember son: not a borrower but a lender be.'

"I didn't realise we were applying for another loan... I thought you were a marriage guidance counsellor!"

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

End of world nigh!!!