Financial Security Lover Gifts

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

Will work for ETFs

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

"It covers up all the debt."

The Bullish World

'Does he do anything besides watch the money?'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

'Last night Warren Buffett came to me in a dream and whispered in my ear, but it was just sexual.'

'You're lucky you're just a kid and don't have to worry about things like going out and getting a job when you're supposed to be retired.'

'Your assets are perfectly safe with us, it's ring fenced - and of course we reconcile regularly sir.'

"I thought I'd done everything necessary to guarantee us a decent pension..."

"Ed's security blanket. Two hundred and twenty acres!"

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

"Glen is a one-issue voter....medicare and social security solvency."

Franchising a program

Man with a Plan

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

'Your in great shape...'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

'At last you can put your feet up and concentrate on worrying about your pension.'

'If you ask me, they're after your bank account number.'

'I sure thought we were done for when we flat-lined like that.'