Financial Manager Pillows

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

A Day In The Kitchen

'Thank you for the treasurer's report, Miss Elkins.'

'To begin with, yoiu'll need assets.'

'Very creative, though it doesn't quite compare with what we're doing over in accounting.'

Virginia A. Dodd: Director of Finance, wife, Mother of Two. Caution: Contents under pressure.

Inexplicable accounts.

"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Top brass want us to be more disciplined about how we handle money...how much have we got left?' - 'About two and a half draws full!'

"My report is on money."

Director of Nickel and Diming

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

"Great idea, boss! I think this will really help collecting outstanding receivables!"

I think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Sorry you can't claim your 60 inch TV as a business expense.'

Accounts: Kill Bills.

"What's your definition of financial risk taker?"

How much do we have in the contingency fund...? About half a drawer full.

"Managing further cuts to tight budgets is a challenge! So this training will give you a pratical insight into how to 'maximise returns from limited resources'!"

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"It says : 'Last reminder. You haven't yet settled our invoice n? 230002. We look forward to receiving your payment by return, or you won't even begin to know the meaning of the word trouble !'"

"Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it."

"I'm not sure we can get away with asking our suppliers to move from '60 days' until 'when hell freezes over' until we settle their invoices!"

"… then I found a million cash in my desk drawer. I can't tell you what a boost that was."

"Is it just me, boss, or is everyone in the accounting department paralyzed with fear these days?"

"I'm sorry, sir - The person who handles your account ran off to Rio de Janeiro."

'These personalised budgets are a great idea...If claimants are going to develop the skills to manage their own budgets...they might as well have a look at ours!'

"This is the part I hate, bookkeeping"

Looking for a Angel Investor

Jake was a hedge fun manager in the city.

"These cuts just can't be made without a lot of pain..."

"Accounts Dept, can I help you?"