Financial Manager Pillows

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

A Day In The Kitchen

'To begin with, yoiu'll need assets.'

'Thank you for the treasurer's report, Miss Elkins.'

'Very creative, though it doesn't quite compare with what we're doing over in accounting.'

Inexplicable accounts.

Virginia A. Dodd: Director of Finance, wife, Mother of Two. Caution: Contents under pressure.

"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Top brass want us to be more disciplined about how we handle money...how much have we got left?' - 'About two and a half draws full!'

"My report is on money."

Director of Nickel and Diming

"Great idea, boss! I think this will really help collecting outstanding receivables!"

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

"What's your definition of financial risk taker?"

Accounts: Kill Bills.

'Sorry you can't claim your 60 inch TV as a business expense.'

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

I think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

"I'm not sure we can get away with asking our suppliers to move from '60 days' until 'when hell freezes over' until we settle their invoices!"

"Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it."

"It says : 'Last reminder. You haven't yet settled our invoice n? 230002. We look forward to receiving your payment by return, or you won't even begin to know the meaning of the word trouble !'"

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Managing further cuts to tight budgets is a challenge! So this training will give you a pratical insight into how to 'maximise returns from limited resources'!"

How much do we have in the contingency fund...? About half a drawer full.

"Accounts Dept, can I help you?"

"Ooh, look....it's your turn to prepare Mr Small's tax accounts this year...!"

"These cuts just can't be made without a lot of pain..."

"… then I found a million cash in my desk drawer. I can't tell you what a boost that was."

"I've invested all your money into a government back security...the state lottery."

"Great job, Johnson! The budget changed last month. We need you to redo the whole thing."

'There's an unauthorized expenditure from petty cash for one million dollars in cat toys!'

"It's been a great year - let's hope we can keep the shareholders from finding out."

"Is it just me, boss, or is everyone in the accounting department paralyzed with fear these days?"