Financial Journalist Gifts

"Which way up do you want it?"

Mario Draghi

'We need more expert analysis than 'the stock market was down, because it wasn't up.''

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'Fiscal Cliff doom & gloom!'

World Financial Mafia

Debt Ceiling and False Ceiling.

'Resources dug deep, Hedge funds were trimmed and Chinese stocks were hungry for more in an otherwise slow day for Metaphors'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Trial by Media

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Schengen

"Good boy."

Hate Platforms

"Welcome to the future"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Lynching on social media

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

British savings accounts

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"You're fired."