Financial Jargon Fan Pillows

'No, my son. Arbitrage is not a bad word but perhaps it should be.'

"Here are my notes on collateralized debt obligation. Make me sound like I know what I'm talking about."

Remember, Lad, there is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads to positive cash flow. Omitted, the portfolio of their lives are bound in shallows and miseries.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

Annual profits,

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

European currency on the edge.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

Economy - USA.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'