Financial Insights Seeker T-Shirts

'When it comes to the children I believe in light-touch regulation.'

Day trading.

"All the celebrities come here."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

Have you seen my money?

Business Philosophy 101.

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"...And in the dream, I was angry at my mother, so I told her she never gave me the love I needed... What do you think it means?"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Euro Balloon: Please watch out for other currencies on your way down!

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

'Remember son: not a borrower but a lender be.'

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Past Performance in No Guarantee of Future Results.

'Are you interested in a fixed income annuity with guaranteed safety of principal and substantial income for life?'

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

How to bare up in a bare market.

"You know my motto: Ready, aim . . . audit."

'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

'We believe numbers don't lie, especially when interpreted advantageously.'

'Look humble, Jenkins. The arrogant look is okay in the office, but these are investors.'