Financial Forecast Fan Pillows

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

"I don't like the look of this."

"Popular with Stock Investors - 'Overcoming Acrophobia'"

'Having conducted a comprehensive review of your business strategy and financial forecasts...'

'Stocks today remained unchanged, on news the rich are getting richer, and the poor poorer, at approximately the same rate...'

Easy street ends.

"Don't worry, sir. There's plenty of time to recover if there's a fifth quarter this year."

Low rates!

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

European currency on the edge.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

'I wonder if I can increase its range?'

'You're better off without him.'

Weather forecast.

"This doesn't bode well."

Cost of Terror.

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'