Financial Followers Pillows

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

Eldrow

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

"There's so much pressure to like monkeys."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Shares Nosedive

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

The euro as a monster

"It covers up all the debt."

Advent Calender.

"Face it, Tim, that cute little Pet Rock you bought in 1976 is now a full-grown boulder - it's time to set him free!"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

Vaping cigarette

"I'm going out to keep consumer spending in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

'Honey, I swear, I wasn't out wallstreeting!'

'Greenspan was back for a guest appearance. He didn't say it's gonna be a bear market. He said it's a beware market!'

"As you know our marketing budget is small. We need to make a really bad commercial and hope it goes viral!"

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

The Tooth Accountant

"Is this an upturn or another calm before the storm?"

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Lady G., I think you should know ol' Warren B.'s holding period is forever.'

Bobbing for Pumpkins - Innocent Fad, or Orthodontist Plot?

The Fad Herald cometh! All hail the arbiter of all things hip. Hear ye. today, a matter of great magnitude. After much deliberation, I am prepared to issue a rare fad correction, and an apology. Two years ago, in a drunken haze, I mistakenly mixed up a 2020 scroll with one meant for 2022. Murmur murmur. Something has felt off. C'mon! The one I mistakenly read in 2020 that should have been read this year … Ripped skinny jeans that cling to the legs like torn Saran Wrap while accentuating the butt