Financial Fledgling Pillows

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'That's my boy...'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

Kid Borrows Money From A Loan Office for His Piggy Bank

Girl holding money.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

Research continues to discover if the inability to balance a checkbook is genetic.

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."