Financial Commentator Pillows

'We'll give you the loan if you agree to wear this tracking device until the loan is repaid.'

"Where did it all go wrong?"

'I think we've done enough to help the economy now.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'The good news is we stopped your bank account from hemorrhaging.'

'Not only did Jim live beyond his means, judging by his gold-plated casket, he died beyond his means.'

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'No, thanks. I'll wait until the economy gets better.'

Finally Debt Free

"So, you're one of my employees - can you make a living doing that?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

The Shrinking Dollar.

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Davos.

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Cold drinks, candy and corporate buyouts.

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Conservatives' Golden Economic Legacy

Liquidity Lunch

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"Apparently there's been a slowdown in China."

Bureau of Inflation.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

Rebuilding the Economy.