Financial Burden Philosopher T-Shirts

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

Money god

"Money is life's report card."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Economic Downturns

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

Accountant Manqué

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."