Finances Pillows

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

"We can give you a 12% rate if you never withdraw it."

"Room, board, books, and tuition--I draw the line at corkage fees."

"If I were money, you'd listen to me."

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

'Honey, I think we missed a repayment.'

"The MRI confirmed what the x-rays showed. Your wallet doesn't contain enough money to pay for either procedure."

"It drives me crazy when people whine about discrepancies in school funding..."

'How do you expect me to balance the checkbook on your income?'

Pension Advisor.

"They're 'old money'-- they made it all in tech stocks."

"Can I bring your income tax returns to school for show and tell?"

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills,doctor.'

Just a moment, platinum cardholder...your cash is being ironed, folded and perfumed.

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

'Shall I give it to you straight, or would you like some mild anesthetic?'

"Hope you know how fortunate you are...next year's tax forms get complicated..."

'I can't get by on my allowance. You're forcing me to borrow from China.'

'I don't suppose you're here to open a daily interest savings account.'

"I've simplified my life by converting all my possessions into one gold brick."

Philosophical piggy bank.

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in tech stocks', meet Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in bio-tech'.'

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."

What is possible...

Elderly couple sits in living room with wall sign that states: God Bless our Reverse Mortgage.

"I reckon we can forget the word cruise, Doreen!"

"I was a late bloomer—I didn't inherit my money until my fifties."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

"Found meat is income."

'I can go to college after all if you increase my allowance to $50,000.'

'Do you make or earn money father?'

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'