Finance Student Pillows

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Consumer Confidence 50c

Dangers of Inflationary Fiscal Policy

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

Eurobonds Explained.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Where your mind & battle are los

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Robot Parts $5

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'C'mon get it straight.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Eternal Student.

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

The Bookworm

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"What's a debenture?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Guitarist

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.