Finance Satirists Pillows

'They've capped all bonuses for bankers.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Spot the difference.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

The transparent safe box of Panama

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

Footing The Bill

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.