Finance Satire Pillows

Independent Financial Advisor

Spot the difference.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

The transparent safe box of Panama

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Greek Crisis

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Golden bubbles

"We disagree with the president - we kinda like Robin Hood - we take from everyone and keep it - how much more successful can you get?"

Your son has a genetic inability to calculate. This forecasts for him a brilliant career in the Ministry of Finance.

'I blame Iceland - it's PAYBACK!'

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'

Offshore tax havens.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'

'We've had a marginal advance-decline on a near-term buy-out, but no one knows if that translates as a downturn or an up-tick.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

Bank of Cyprus-sia