Finance Phobia Fighters Pillows

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Born to raise interest rates.

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

Student Debt

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'Giving you eternal life was a hard enough problem! Don't expect me to know how to save enough for it, too!'

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

Breaking Through

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

What's Their Secret?

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

Stress on GPs

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."